@gbrl_dick Also give a pocketful of cherry bombs to each kid upon arrival and stack your stockpile of obnoxiously large fireworks in a prominent location to entice your guests to stick around and watch you light "the big one"
@gbrl_dick For bonus points arm the kids with a plastic bag of plastic water balloons and set up several sprinklers "for the kids to play" (then blithely ignore that no one is playing in them and you're creating a swamp)
@gbrl_dick Menfolk stand the grill with their beer, enjoying the god-given freedom to refuse sunscreen and anticipating the "real show" of illegal firecrackers Bubba smuggled in from south of the border, while repeatedly sizing up the overhanging trees where they plan to light them offff