all of which ties back to Sociopaths in Our Community Discourse of recent weeks, bec when I feel weird about someone am I actually picking up that they're dangerous to me or frens? am I working thru triggered past trauma? am I projecting something I dislike abt myself?
imo it's good to try to clarify my feelings internally / w frens before going public / to them directly abt it (lol not that I've always done this, but it goes bad when I don't!) and in the interim I act weirdly towards them bec of the internal conflict & repressed dislike
and w social media sometimes the conclusion is just 🤷♀️ idk, not enough data, wait n see... so sometimes I have these quiet dislikes for quite some time, waiting till the evidence accumulates to confirm or challenge my initial feelings
More notes on nearby ideas
Reply · Dec 8, 2023@LyonsElisaveta yeah it is an uneasy unstable feeling, in the past ive preemptively distanced myself from groups when i dislike one person... maybe…Reply · Apr 30, 2023(tbc I'm not saying I don't get upset, but that no part of me enjoys or seeks it, if anything I'm kinda scared of getting upset bec in the past it's…Reply · Apr 14, 2023hmm, for me it's more that I really enjoy getting more authentic vulnerable engagement which I think can be shut down by ppl being aggro and harshQuote tweet · Dec 23, 2023yes so true, i feel myself tensing up along my shoulders and arms when i feel socially threatened, and it's like.... nooo we're really not at war…