@breaking2morrow sigh just everything, my expectations for myself.... keep a clean comfy home n cook yummy meals (n feel bad any time u wanna go out instead of cooking) be social and caring n start conversations n make plans ... but admit ur an addict for looking at ur phone n having feelings about online friends exercise n lose weight but have a low maintenance natural look and don't complain about cramps or sore boobs or anything, ur not sick ur just a woman keep up w a boring job and feel guilty for not putting in enough effort ("enough" being very vaguely defined, lacking good tasks n also being paid half salary) stay emotionally stable n sane without using mood stabilizers because they make me dull- so no caffeine or other stimulants n maintain sleep cycle, carefully self-monitor n apologize for negative emotions but somehow avoid being labeled neurotic for it all catch up on reading the piles of books and finish the crafting projects; apologize for the clutter of so many books n craft supplies; but also some ppl hate hanging out while i knit because im not making eye contact n they feel like im ignoring them...