weird part of me is sometimes hesitant to try to improve my standards of communication & interpersonal relationships & see the self-serving subconscious manipulation because of a fear that i would then have to choose to: - hold myself to a different standard than others, frustrating & feels unfair -> accumulating resentment - be frequently calling ppl out on their bs and have more conflict as a result (scary for reasons) - avoid ppl who don't meet those standards and have a smaller pool of potential friends & more loneliness this is probably a stupid way of thinking but it's how i feel 🤷‍♀️