i was single for 8 yrs before i met bf... a long time to get used to doing things my own way, only thinking of myself, independent, solitary, alone
it's been easier than i would have guessed, to be in a relationship again... easier but different, because i'm different, i've grown in the time alone
then i met him... so unexpected to feel the glimmer of romantic potential, the warmth of connection, much in common and no reason to say no...
i feel like a whole complete person, somehow more real than when i was younger, Velveteen Rabbit 🐇 style
but also i catch myself being selfish, inconsiderate, unfair, dramatic, lazy, passive-aggressive, fearful, judgmental, imperfect... often in little ways, sometimes more
his presence is motivation to make choices i respect, to practice self-compassion and integrity, to more often be the person i want to be 🫶
since i met him i've done therapy for old trauma, i've been eating better and exercising more, i want to be a happy healthy kind partner...