what am i even flinching from? i don't remember actually

effort & sustained focus risk of failure, loss how inconsequential my life is suffering and its inevitability just waiting for subconscious to bubble up the next token

overwhelming intensity of experience skill issue, not knowing what to do next politeness, don't push too deep avoiding unpleasant conclusions, hoping there's a loophole

fighting my body-mind ... hunger, sleepiness, wanting to move, wanting sunshine n fresh air

twitter is purgatory, dissociating while waiting

i resisted cell phones for so long, then resisted smart phones, then resisted carrying it everywhere.... but these days i am as distracted & stimulation seeking as anyone