the rationalist guess / ask / tell culture meme seems to miss the important nuance that skilled communicators use all of these techniques to various extents- much better in combination! Guess is frustrating when ppl guess wrong and miss out on more optimal results, otoh when it works it is magical- building a model of the other person and anticipating their desires without needing to communicate; simulated telepathy via high fidelity models of each other, no need to check in Ask may feel too direct, like an interrogation, socially uncomfortable to say no no no to a barrage of requests; but done with curiosity and sensitivity the asker can make others feel deeply seen and cared for, questions as invitation to intimacy. Asking enables the Guesser to fill in high uncertainty spots in their model with better data, and can uncover surprises. Tell can be very verbose- tedious, and yet miss important information if the teller doesn't have a good mental model of the listener's existing knowledge & areas of concern / potential; otoh it allows the person to organize the information they're sharing and provide more context than might be uncovered with an Ask; done well it invites the listener to respond creatively and weave the Teller's preferences with their own.