sigh i didn't go to the rave in the end, decided to come home instead.... it's such a common pattern for me- make plans to attend a party, go to some trouble w travel / outfit / gifts / etc, then get super anxious in the hours beforehand and then not go
i enjoy meeting ppl in ones or twos, quieter slower socializing is great ... parties otoh ... i want to want to go but tbh i mostly feel dread not excitement
hm i do enjoy events where i already know & like multiple attendees + the event isn't too much sensory overload meeting lots of new people is tiring, so is blocking out overly loud background noise or getting touched a lot by a crowd