how do you handle when someone casually says something that hurts and maybe if you think about it you might conclude the friendship is over? but also you don't want to overreact before processing it or punish them for being honest such that they're incentivized to lie instead
the superposition of 80% it's my ego or misunderstanding and you'll never hear about it, there's nothing to be said 15% there's a painful conversation i need to initiate to fix this 5% it's already over i just haven't done the math yet