the other aspect of "no self-coercion" has been untangling what *i* want from wanting to want what other people want from me. it's both becoming more aware of my preferences and developing the habit of acting on them - saying no, not going along w social obligations, not…
and sigh i am still not great at this, which can make me less reliable while i'm recalibrating to predict what i will and won't want to do, trying to speak up whenever i realize i'm saying yes to things i don't want