not having a verbal handle to access such a major facet of my subjective experience seems to have a silencing effect on my inner monologue & self narrative. is this what they're doing with zen koans?
on second thought maybe female is the word, but like, from the perspective of identifying with the experience of animals in other species who tend to get pregnant - they don't have a gender- there's no man chimps or woman chimps, but they do have sexual dimorphism and the…