people date lightly at first- fun daytime activities, double date with friends, flirtatiously get to know each other while gossiping about their dates with friends and family who encourage/discourage the match depending. many of the dates are "meh" fizzles, but they're low…
dating this way allows women to stay in an open receptive mindset- pressure for sex is restrained by community norms so they're not continually asserting boundaries and saying no. friends and family will encourage matches with "good guys" and talk up their less visible virtues,…
anyway, so, when couples get serious they spend a lot of time doing things together in the community- they'll be asked to run events and babysit for other families. there's pressure on the guy to propose if they seem happy together and for engagements to last months not years