oh also i've had bad experiences with being a woman swe - i was prevented from going to a client meeting once because the security guard was obdurately insistent my meeting was in the business building not the security operations center another time i was made late because when i asked to sign in they told me i didn't need to, and then when my coworker ran in at the last minute and i tried to follow they stopped me and said they'd thought i was a wife who'd come to meet my husband for lunch not someone who worked there- i was wearing business clothes and carrying a laptop bag i changed my name to this more feminine form because i would get he/himmed so often in emails and then people wouldn't connect my technical emails with my girly voice on phone meetings... i can see an argument for going the other way and trying to sound and look like a man so i don't cause so much confusion