like, i don't relate to this at all: "Not even my parents know that I will excuse myself to my room or the bathroom and cry and hit and scratch myself. I’ll bang my head on the wall and want to die over very simple interactions or events." that sounds awful and far more intense than my social anxiety and awkwardness at times.
ch 2 reciprocity: "I don’t like small talk. Does that make me autistic? No. Many people don’t enjoy small talk, which is different from a situation where even basic conversations are incredibly effortful and exhausting. Additionally, there are people who aren’t particularly socially skilled but are not autistic." i do actually like small talk and especially appreciate when it is done skillfully with warmth - i really admire and am grateful for the strangers who can make a small random interaction into a playful moment of connection.
ch 3 nonverbal comms: "When an autistic person verbally conveys physical or emotional pain to a healthcare practitioner without pairing their words with the expected facial expressions, body language, and voice intonation, the healthcare practitioner is less likely to take the complaints seriously or even to believe them." reminds me of recent psych appt, when i started describing recent anxiety and panic attacks i could feel myself getting upset just by recalling the memory... i could feel my psych getting uncomfy with the emotional tone in my voice etc, so i intentionally tensed to control my emotion and looked away from him to avoid the feedback loop of noticing his discomfort and feeling worse and emoting more and making him MORE uncomfortable... is this an example of avoiding eye contact that might be a sign of autism?