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oh- until covid I'd have said my biggest fear since childhood was a pandemic / bioterrorism because of the fear of infecting family & how ppl turn on each other... but having lived through it now it feels just very unpleasant & undesirable rather than a scary nightmare

also I have a fear of not being able to distinguish hallucinations from reality- the helplessness of being in the psych ward and unable to understand what's going on... it is awful
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