it's something like... trying to "be present in the now", to deal w what's immediate rather than ruminating about the past or fantasizing about the future... overall good practice but the way i'm doing it is somewhat w aversion & tension to push away memories & anticipation
which creates standing tension of memories & anticipation + repression of them, w adhd-like result of grasping for stimulation in the present to stay away from past/future anxiety
and i think it's more about the future than the past, but past informs future- like, did i do something stupid or embarrassing that will result in someone judging me? have i left things undone & feel dread of eventual repercussions or having to do them in a hurry?