otoh when i was younger i was very neurotic & organized w to do lists i'd complete, but running on anxiety & caffeine i'd burn out and end up super depressed in bed for days feeling shame about dropping my obligations... having minimized obligations is better than that
but the past months of intentionally minimal planning have shown i'm not content w the limitations of that lifestyle and I'm living on savings it isn't sustainable
also there's a different flavor of fear that comes from finishing things and having literally nothing to do - a sense of freedom but also emptiness & lack of purpose when my house is clean and books are read and emails are sent and etc etc ... so far from current state that it's tough to remember but i have been there before