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it's too easy to kinda suck in corrosive little ways, build up discontentment, break up, and tell yourself "they weren't the one, i should be more selective next time" and go back to yearning

i have 4 fundamentalist cousins who all dated and married good partners via their trad culture (still, dc, they all have college degrees and married in their mid 20s) and i think there's some merits to how it used to work
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being part of that community is a different lifestyle- you're held to higher standards and expected to give a lot to other community members, there's a dense network of relations and gossip flows quickly to update reputation, which then determines the benefits you receive