kinda recapping from yesterday wrt my gender identity ... I don't have the internal sense of gender that others describe ... maybe bec I have some masc nerd traits from birth? maybe bec I was a misfit n didn't socialize enough? maybe bec my parents raised me kinda gender neutral?
I also feel anxiety abt some ppl's sexual / romantic pursuit of me, esp if they're not really listening & understanding me & if they persist when I've tried to discourage... and maybe this is bec of past trauma, maybe by gender change I just want to not be a parasocial target?
result is that I often dislike the gendered way ppl engage w me here- condescending, negging, claiming ownership, bossing me around, treating me as irrational or like a child, assuming I need someone to provide for me, assuming I want babies, assuming I'm non-technical
More notes on nearby ideas
Reply · Jun 13, 2023@QiaochuYuan ohhhh maybe that's my problem I never wanted to have kids so I'm not really gendered?Reply · Feb 18, 2026@cammakingminds idk, tbh i think the notion of gender is kinda bizarre, but i trust other people's claims to have a deeply felt inner identity, but i…Reply · Jun 13, 2023@NoncanonicAleae gender seems like a social construct tho so there's nothing to work out alone- alone I'm just me?Reply · Sep 4, 2025@realtimeai yeah but like, internalized to the point where ppl care very deeply about being perceived as belonging to those categories. but i don't…